The Results Are In

It has been nearly two months now since I had my surgical biopsy and was diagnosed with lymphoma.  Since that time, it seems all I have been doing is waiting.  Waiting for pathology results from my biopsy.  Waiting to meet with the oncologist.  Waiting to get a second opinion.  Waiting to obtain all of my records for my second opinion.  Waiting to see if the antibiotics suggested by the doctor who gave the second opinion had any effect.  Waiting for the MRI results after the antibiotics treatment to see if there the tumors showed any signs of shrinkage.

Well, I had my MRI this week and we finally received the radiology report today and...

Drumroll please.......

The antibiotics didn't work.  I am actually quite relieved, to be perfectly honest.  Though the antibiotics were an intriguing possibility, the fact is my doctor had no idea of the protocol for such treatment and no idea of what we could hope to expect.  I definitely had my reservations about going that route, as there are too many unknowns and since it has received such limited success.  I am very happy to have ruled that out as an option, and move on to a concrete action plan now, and know that I am finally moving forward with treatment that has proven to be extremely successful on many, many patients.  I have a schedule and a timeline.  Ever the planner, this gives me a great sense of comfort.

I will begin my Rituxan infusions on Monday morning (10/18).  This will be the first of four weekly sessions.  The drug is administered through an IV veeeeeeerrrrrrrrryyyyyy slowly, especially the first time.  I will also be receiving a number of "pre-drugs" to help combat some of the side effects of Rituxan (nausea, fever, chills).  I was told I will be in the infusion center for 6-8 hours.  Hopefully I will not have a bad reaction to the drug (this is unusual), but if I do, they are equipped to handle it.

I am definitely nervous and anxious as this plan has finally solidified, and is therefore now so much more "real" to me.  During this long waiting period, I did my best not to think about my situation too much, and at times even "forgot" that I have cancer.  I've felt healthy and good this whole time, fortunately not experiencing any uncomfortable symptoms of this disease.

Now I know that things are going to change.  I am aware that the infusions will be less than pleasant.  It's starting to sink in for me that although this first course of treatment will last just four weeks, I will still continue to have to deal with this for a long time to come, and possibly for rest of my life.  I will proceed to have scans and potentially "maintenance" therapy regularly for quite some time to come.   I admit, I am scared.  Who wouldn't be?  Yet in a weird way, I am excited, eager, and even --dare I say-- happy.  Today, Dr. Vempaty told me that the result she expects from the Rituxan is that the drug will literally "melt" my tumors away; simply dissolve them.  This notion gives me such a thrill I can't even describe.  An absolutely exhilarating scenario.  I have been waiting so long, and now I am chomping at the bit to kick some serious cancer-butt!  I want it OUT of my body.  Don't hold me back.

It's time.